What we can do for you: For writers and art directors we will give you the tools you need to compete for jobs at the top advertising agencies in the country. The design and interactive students will be similarly prepared to look for a job at award-winning design firms. Account Services students will be groomed to compete for jobs at both ad agencies and design firms. Our photography and film students will get real practical training to develop their talent and parlay it into a rewarding career in their field. And finally our neurosurgery students will be sent elsewhere since we don’t have a medical department, though we do have some band-aids behind the front desk if you need them.

What we can't do for you: remove cats from trees, explain Australian Rules football, balance your checkbook, tell you the ending to an M. Night Shyamalan movie and, under no circumstance, will we ever answer the question “Do I look fat in this?”